Thursday, February 23, 2017

Sanity Point 19 Bingo was his Name-O

The dread is starting to set in. After writing about people turning to food substances, I woke up in the middle of the night from a dream where I was touring the set of the new MST3K. At the end of the tour, I kept waiting and waiting for my ride to show up. When I stepped outside, I found everyone collapsed, a vile cat food-like smell and substance slowly leaking from their clothes.
First of all, a mystery about a senior citizen is put before us: CHEEKTOWAGA SACKS 89-YEAR-OLD BINGO INSPECTOR. Then, perhaps some mutilation is hinted at? Inquiring minds want to know: What happened to Ch. 4 anchor Don Postles' face?  And in the “but it isn’t global warming” file: More winter parking bans have been lifted in the suburbs.

Reporter Oliver Bleeker followed some leads about a cult in Cheetowaga that combined blood sacrifice with Bingo. Undercover and one such ceremony/game, Bleeker took pictures and published the story, resulting in 89-year old Newton Gore losing his job as Director of Community Affairs, which ran the Bingo game. Gore is a powerful sorcerer and priest of Hastur. He informed Hastur of Bleeker’s meddling, and the god swept the reporter out of his bed and dangled him dangerously close to the star Aldebaran, watching the body burn. Before the reporter could die, he was dumped back in his bed. His wife heard the bump of her husband’s “arrival” and found his charred form. She called the ambulance and has enlisted the investigators to uncover what happened to her husband.  As punishment for interfering with the sacrifices, Hastur’s slowly making the sun go nova, creating a stiflingly hot February. Meanwhile, the King In Yellow sics every enemy and reporter of the Buffalo senior citizens Hastur cult. Only the investigators can stop the killing and end of the world.

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